Maybes aren't Messy

Remember when I wrote about the impact the book "Good Morning, Monster" had on me? I couldn't stop thinking about it and on that long drive from Pittsburgh to Nashville, I decided I was going to email Dr. Gildiner, take a long shot and ask if she'd join the Motivation N'at podcast.

Three weeks later I was shocked to see a response in my inbox. I knew the odds were slim that it would be a resounding yes, after all, Motivation N'at is still a baby, just 20ish episodes in, about 50 subscribers and 400 streams but, it's my baby. In her response, Dr. Gildiner thanked me for my outreach and asked how many listeners I had.

I felt like I had won the lottery.

You might be sitting there thinking, seriously Natalie? She didn't say yes and with small numbers it'll probably be a no in the end so why are you so excited.

And here's why.

She listened. She read my short but to the point note about the impact of her book and what my ask was. And she took the time to not only read my email but to answer it. And even if it's a no, I've connected, and one day when the pod is a hit perhaps the answer changes. And, well, as I write this, I haven't even gotten the formal no.

As leaders, we sometimes forget that delayed acknowledgement is still acknowledgment. We realize we forgot to answer that email from five weeks ago and assume people have moved on. In reality, our obsession with time may color the interpretation of our actions. Go ahead and answer anyway. Today, perhaps, you'll put more energy and effort into your engagement due to your present mindset than you might have if you rushed to answer weeks ago.

If there's one thing that podcasting has started to teach me, something my guest Desarae Legros told me to embrace more, it's to just ask. We hear over and over, what's the harm in asking, the worst they can say is no. But, for those with sensitivities to rejection, it's a huge mountain to climb. After being turned down for job after job application the last few months, and pivoting to instead embrace what Dr. Shari Dade and I discussed on the podcast episode that dropped yesterday, the idea of self care and protecting one's peace, starts to reframe that vitriol that rejection can hold over someone.

Dr. Dade described that your "no" today makes room for "yes" tomorrow. The same way a "rejection" today makes room for "opportunity" tomorrow. A whole new view of "when one door closes". All of this just further builds the power behind "maybe" or "not right now".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFzEIQoSkmQ

So where some might see a rejection or experience not feeling good enough, I'm choosing to reframe this. Keep on keeping on and see where the road leads and eventually those maybes may become yeses because we now match each others needs and offerings, or we will learn that path is better to go in a different direction.

Don't let maybes be messy, empower them to be meaningful.