The Unheard Stories: Finding Power in Stillness and Connection

Sometimes the most powerful stories are the ones that go unheard. They slip by quietly, hidden beneath the noise of everyday life, or maybe they're buried under protective layers that the storyteller is hesitant to remove. We may not listen long enough, or we don’t ask the right questions, stopping at the first exit ramp in order to get back on with our daily lives. Sometimes, it takes stepping into an uncomfortable space to truly connect with others who live different experiences from our own - especially in times when social tensions and triggers have pushed so many into self-preservation mode. These unheard stories hold lessons and reminders that can change how we see the world and ourselves.

Why We Might Miss the Most Powerful Stories

In our busy lives, we often rush from one task to the next. We skim conversations, waiting for our turn to speak or thinking about what’s next on our to-do list. This habit means we miss the depth beneath surface-level exchanges. Even for those of us that hate small talk, it requires the least amount of effort. The stories that reveal someone’s true feelings, struggles, or joys often require patience and openness.

We stick to safe topics or avoid conversations that might feel uncomfortable or out of fear of saying the wrong thing or showing unintended ignorance. But those difficult questions can open doors to understanding and empathy. For example, instead of asking “How was your day?” we might ask “What’s been on your mind lately?” This simple shift invites a deeper response. It pulls the respondent from a recount of their actions to a reflection of their feelings.

Stepping into uncomfortable spaces can be challenging. It might mean spending time with people whose lives are very different from ours or listening without judgment. It's the premise of not judging a book by it's cover. So often we rely on the labels we place on ourselves or others to create silent judgment of who and why they are. We may even try to validate that our labels are correct, but it takes allowing all of that space in between the lines to be authentically filled in to start to grasp a true understanding.

The Power of Basic Reminders

Often, the most powerful lessons come from simple, everyday moments. These basic reminders ground us and help us slow down. We've heard the saying to stop and smell the roses but it's winter here in Pennsylvania, no roses to be found. A little over a week ago, I sat down to record a Motivation N'at episode with TJ Fairchild, the owner of Commonplace Coffee, a well known coffee roastery and coffee shop group here in southwestern PA. He touched on the importance of letting your steaming cup of coffee cool slightly so that your palate can actually absorb the taste and flavor profile of the coffee.

It served as another reminder that a simple pause can help ground us and bring appreciation for the moment we're in. It’s a chance to breathe, notice our surroundings, and be fully here. When life feels overwhelming, these pauses can restore balance and clarity.

Why Being Present Feels So Hard

As I recounted in the post from just a few weeks ago, time often feels like our enemy. We have so much to do and so little time to do it. Our minds race ahead to the next task, the next meeting, or the next problem to solve. It may not even cross our minds to stop and ask someone, "How are you?", or if it does, we may not think we have time to engage in what ever follow up might be necessary.

But presence is not about adding more to our plates. It’s about giving ourselves permission to pause, even briefly. Research shows that moments of mindfulness and stillness reduce stress and improve focus. When we allow ourselves to be present, we open the door to deeper listening and connection.

For example, try this: the next time you’re with someone, put away your phone and listen without planning your response. Notice what they say and how they say it. You might discover a story you never expected.

Or, for some of us type A people, be late somewhere. Just by five minutes. And I know what you're thinking - but that's a lack of respect for whoever or whatever I'm running late too. I challenge you to think back, how often has someone else running late by five minutes measurably impacted your life. Sure, we may be annoyed, we may have missed a few minutes of an activity, but we also probably can't recount much more about it than that. This weekend, I was 10 minutes later than I said I would be to meet friends. I got caught up in a conversation with an old colleague whose art studio I stopped by to see. Then snow on the roads and a few red lights took care of the rest.

But another friend was also 10 minutes late. Another ended up not being able to come at all. Those on time were still settling in and getting oriented to the activities ahead. No one fixated on the time on the clock. Taking those extra few minutes to not rush my time with one person had no consequences when it was all said and done.

How to Hear the Unheard Stories Around You

Here are some practical steps to help you listen more deeply and connect with the stories that often go unnoticed:

• Take 10 minutes to listen

Find a quiet spot or a moment in your day to simply listen. It could be the sounds around you, the rhythm of a conversation, or the silence between words.

• Ask one extra question

When talking with someone, ask a question you wouldn’t normally. Instead of “How are you?” try “What’s something you’ve been thinking about lately?” This invites a richer response.

• Sit with discomfort

If a conversation or situation feels uncomfortable, resist the urge to leave or change the subject. Sit with that feeling and see what emerges.

• Notice small moments

Pay attention to everyday actions like letting coffee cool, watching a sunset, or cuddling with a furry family member. These moments carry stories and reminders about presence.

Want to Hear More?

As mentioned, this week's podcast episode will feature TJ Fairchild, owner of Commonplace Coffee. We talk about the art and science behind coffee, but more importantly about what it means to hold a "Commonplace" for people and community. We touch on strategic vulnerability, on the power behind community and, in the spirit of this week's post, on being present. This conversation will inspire you to slow down and find meaning in the quiet moments.

You can find the podcast on all of your favorite streaming platforms and on YouTube. The episode will release Sunday, February 8th at 9am EST.

Sometimes, the stories we need most are waiting in those silent pauses.