Imposter Syndrome is the Loudest Voice in the Room

Over the last two weeks, I did another round of updates to the impromptu podcast studio Josh and I have set up in our house. The acoustics were great, lighting pretty on point and I thought I had finally figured out how to record multiple videos at the same time for different angles.

One of my mentees was home visiting over the holidays and had excitedly agreed to come record in person in the new studio. After some bumbling around everything seems good to go. We recorded an hour of awesome content and I was riding high on finally having the ability to do in person and virtual episodes.

The next morning, I opened the project in the editing platform... and found out no audio had written to the file. In my eagerness, I skipped a crucial step: testing the recording process. What followed was 60 minutes of soundless video—a silent episode that felt like a personal failure. This experience didn’t just disrupt my podcast launch; it triggered a wave of imposter syndrome that I hadn’t expected. I didn't care that I would have to put in more time and effort to fix the mess up - but I felt like I had wasted my guest's time, like we'd not be able to recreate the magic of that first recording, that the joy in doing this would be lost for her.

The podcast episode that almost was....

It didn't help that two weeks prior, a guest I had been super excited for was unable to log into the platform to record. I had failed to confirm they had the correct link in the days leading up the recording. They've since not followed up on my offer to reschedule. And then I forgot an "e" on a guest's name when I sent them their outline. A tiny typo, but one that still speaks loudly when it's one that shouldn't have happened in the first place.

My spiral was epic.

But deeper than that was a creeping feeling of imposter syndrome. I started questioning myself:

• Am I really cut out for this?

• Do I deserve to be a podcaster?

• What if I’m just pretending to know what I’m doing?

  
  

These thoughts made it hard to move forward. I felt stuck in a loop of self-criticism. In no time, the second guessing spread to every decision I'd made in the last few months. I knew I needed to snap out of it, but reflecting back on the discussions I've had with Dr. Shari Dade and Amjed Baghdadi, I also knew I needed to sit with this feeling for a bit. There were lessons to learn and perseverance to be had.

What I Learned from the Experience

Test Everything Beforehand

No matter how confident you feel, always test your equipment and software. Run a full mock recording to catch any technical issues early. Josh and I will be doing this over the next week since I already have more upcoming in person recordings scheduled.

Accept Mistakes as Part of the Process

Every creator faces setbacks. Mistakes don’t mean you’re a fraud; they mean you’re trying something new and learning. Sure, it's easy to think because I'm 40 and halfway through my professional working life that I should be able to figure things out easily, but the fact of the matter is, I'm still learning something totally new to me.

Talk About Your Feelings

I reached out to two friends after the whole debacle. One offered to proofread some of my outlines moving forward. I decided to accept the help, knowing it would also force me to pause before hitting the final send button. The other friend let me vent and spent a day this weekend just watching crime shows with me in an effort to do a quick reset.

Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t change what happened, but you can control how you respond. I immediately reached out to my guest, Mia-Ann, and explained what happened. The beauty of it, is that it was another way to show how the mentor can be learning at the same time as the mentee. In this case, we were learning together and she was gracious enough to agree to reschedule and record virtually.

Keep Your Purpose in Mind

Later in the weekend, I was working on improving my SEO basics on the podcast YouTube channel and in scanning through some of the previews of the episodes, I saw that almost every one of them included me and my guest laughing. In that moment, I remembered why I'm doing this - to bring real life to real people.

Remember why you started. For me, it was about sharing stories and connecting with others. That goal stays the same. I have entered this journey into Motivation N'at and NC Bulger Solutions with the promise that I would be authentically me the entire time. That means the blooper reels too. Imperfection means at least we're trying.

Moving Forward with Confidence

All in all, it's a lesson to be kinder to myself. In this huge world we live in, these mix ups, errors and lessons learned are small drops in a very large ocean. We can choose to force them into waves or we can allow the surface to steady again understanding we control the current.

If you’re starting something new, whether it’s a podcast or any other project, remember that mistakes happen. They don’t define your worth or your ability. Use them as stepping stones, not roadblocks.