Stop Treating Success as a Finish Line
- Natalie Bulger
- 23 hours ago
- 7 min read
Success often feels like a distant finish line we must cross to prove our worth or achieve fulfillment. But what if the real value lies not in reaching that final point, but in the journey itself? Last week, I referenced an upcoming discussion with Joe Babarsky of Not Impossible Labs and his ideology on existing in a state of Beta—constantly evolving and adapting. Today, I want to build on that idea and explore how becoming comfortable with the possibility that we may never fully reach our end goals can transform how we view success, patience, and reality.
Embracing the Journey Over the Destination
When we fixate on a specific goal, we risk missing the richness of the stops along the way. Life rarely unfolds in a straight line - it's the reason my brand graphics are all about the curvy and messy lines in our lives. Our goals may shift, our environment may change, or we ourselves may evolve in unexpected ways. Holding tightly to a fixed endpoint can blind us to progress and growth happening right now but it can be scary to set what feel like unattainable goals. In the world of business we're told to build SMART goals - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. In life, SMART goals may not be the best option for us, providing constriction instead of serving as bumper lanes for us.
For example, imagine you're aiming to become a executive leader. Along the way, you gain valuable skills, build meaningful relationships, and discover new passions. If you only measure success by reaching a specific title, they might overlook these important milestones. What if you peer gets there first? Does that mean that you are less than, or not as good as them? No. What if the company changes direction? What if you realize their true calling lies elsewhere?
Success is not a single moment but a series of steps forward. It requires patience to accept that progress can be slow and nonlinear. It demands flexibility to adjust goals as reality shifts. This mindset frees us from the pressure of perfection and allows us to celebrate growth in all its forms.
The Inner Listener and Its Role in Progress
Joe also brought up the idea of the Inner Listener and that if we just shush up long enough, we might realize that little voice in our head (remember the episode with Amjed about the voices in our heads?) is actually pretty smart sometimes. The voice may be incessantly trying to tell us something, but we're so busy trying to keep it quiet, that we can't hear it.
By tuning into our inner listener, we can better navigate the tension between ambition and acceptance. It reminds us to check in with ourselves regularly and adjust our course with intention rather than frustration.
Why We Struggle to Let Go of the Finish Line
One reason we cling to end goals is the way society defines success. We often equate it with status, money, or titles. We go to events and people ask us what we've been up to. We interview for jobs and we're asked to define our successes and outcomes. We see that house we want, that new device that's been catching our eye, that vacation that looks amazing and we fixate on it until we can check it off our list.
In a world where we've been encouraged to create "to do" lists, run through checklists to ensure safety and success, where our societal goals have often been defined for us... it can be hard to break out of that cycle.
How often do you start your day with limited or zero plans? How difficult is unanticipated change for you? If you struggle with this day to day, it can only be expected that looking out to the horizon with what feels like no achievable goals could do to your psyche.
This is especially clear when looking at growing gaps in pay and opportunity across industries.
A New Reality and New Goals
When I graduated from undergrad in 2008. I landed what was a "high paying" job for a 23 year old with a social work degree. I made $13 an hour. Other offers had come in around $10 an hour - the same thing I was making working the front desk at the local Dave and Busters. So I kept that Dave and Busters job. I also started coaching competitive cheer and tumbling for $7 an hour. I worked an average of 70 hours a week for three years. I bought a house and I was tired.
Grad school would follow and only because of a small inheritance after my grandparents passed was I actually able to keep that house when my student loans came due. My mortgage was $680 a month at that time. My loans - $950 a month.
I yearned for financial security all the while making some really silly money decisions - you know, that stuff they don't actually teach you how to manage in high school.
But I worked my way into executive roles. I made the six figure salary. I got married, we took vacations, we enjoyed nice things. But burn out happened again. I realized I wouldn't be spending my whole career with the federal government. I resigned and three months later I panicked. The job market stunk, it would take time to grow a business, my passion project of the podcast makes no income... I didn't know what would be next.
So I sat with that fear and I asked myself what I needed versus what I wanted. I needed to pay bills. I needed to be mentally and physically healthy. I needed to maintain boundaries and nurture my marriage and friendships. I needed to be the change I wanted to see in the world.
So I took a temporary, part time job, paying one-third of what I used to make. This was a conscious choice because I believe the organization needs my skills, and I just needed some time of income to supplement me while the LLC worked on growing. It gives me time to keep working on NC Bulger Solutions and on the Motivation N'at podcast. It gives me flexibility to have pivot rool if needed.
I know that I'm privileged to be able to do this and not everyone can but this message is more for those who are sitting where I sat the last seven years. Many people earning six figures could afford to take a pay cut to help elevate those around them. The real question is whether they are willing to sacrifice privilege for a more balanced and supportive environment. This kind of sacrifice requires patience and a deep understanding of reality—not just personal ambition.
A 2023 article by Corinne Post in Forbes "When CEOs Take A Pay Cut, What Difference Does It Make?" talked about the impact of bringing salaries closer to a mean. Did you know you can look up the top paid employees for non-profits (including hospitals and major non-profit corporations) on Pro-Publica or Guidestar? Or that a quick search of the annual shareholder reports will often get you salary information for executives of publicly traded companies? Take a second and see what you can find, you might be floored.
In places where janitors, machinists, clerks and cooks barely make a "livable" wage. The executive team is making half a million to multi-millions in salaries, bonuses and shares. The claim being that they deal with complex problems and incur most of the risk of the organization. But are they really? Remember undercover boss...? Are they the ones stepping in when a boiler goes down? Are they the ones who jump behind the line and serve meals when a kitchen staffer goes down sick? Could they run the machines on the floor if needed? Maybe they could, but odds are, their entire success is rooted in the ability of everyone on that org chart under them. So why do they make so much more?
This disparity reflects a reality where the value of risk and responsibility is measured unevenly. CEOs’ risk depends heavily on the execution skills of their teams, yet compensation rarely reflects this interdependence. If organizations brought salaries closer together, they might see benefits like reduced turnover, stronger loyalty, and more economic growth.
Why am I Harping on This?
Because I want to see it changed. Before we see companies saying "cut spending", step one should be reevaluate salaries of executives. In the VA there is a cap on what leadership and even physicians can make. It's why it's so hard to recruit a top surgeon, when they can make millions doing the same surgeries at the academic medical center down the street. Sure, medical school creates insane debt, but the solution is not to just pay doctors more - why not deal with the cost of the education in the first place? Why not make it an even playing field. Look at sports - the MLB has no salary cap. Though those in the minor leagues can barely afford groceries while "super stars" receive record breaking deals. In the NHL and NFL, contracts are constantly negotiated in order to stay under their salary caps. Professional sports have a host of other systemic issues, this is just to show how the cap process creates different behaviors in the different leagues.
I know that focusing on truly addressing this systemic, generational, ingrained root causes will take decades and may never truly happen. However, that voice in my head, the one that gets upset when it runs into injustice and inequality... well I finally listened to it. I plan to start having targeted discussions on this on the podcast, build education and speaking and contribute to research if given the chance to start to drive this awareness of the need for change.
It's ok that I may not get past mile one before my time in this world is done. It's the legacy I'd like to stand behind if there's ever a question of what I spent my time doing. It's the real people, the real stories, the day to day beauty that tell us what we need to know. The power to the people. The power of grassroots.
If more people embraced this mindset, we could build workplaces and communities that prioritize shared progress over individual status. That means stronger teams, healthier economies, and more fulfilled lives.
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