💡 ABOUT THIS EPISODE
In Episode 43 of Motivation N'at, Natalie Bulger sits down with Sarah Ludwig, LPC, a licensed professional counselor and certified EMDR therapist with over a decade of experience working with survivors of sexual violence and intimate partner violence. Together they break down what intimate partner violence actually looks like beyond the physical — from financial control and isolation to sexual coercion and threats to pets — and why so much of it gets written off as toxic behavior instead of named for what it is. Sarah explains the cycle that keeps people in these relationships, the role of isolation as a deliberate tactic, and why strangulation is one of the most urgent and overlooked predictors of lethality. This is part one of a two-part conversation.
📌 RESOURCES
🆘 National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/ | 1-800-799-7233
🆘 Text START to 88788 | Chat 24/7 at thehotline.org
📋 Personal Safety Plan: https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/
📖 Strangulation & Domestic Violence Research: https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2025/10/strangulation-and-domestic-violence
📖 The Violent Reality of Strangulation: https://www.safeaustin.org/the-violent-reality-of-strangulation/
🌐 National Resource Center on Domestic Violence: https://nrcdv.org/
🌐 National Network to End Domestic Violence: https://nnedv.org/
🏠 Blackburn Center (SW Pennsylvania): https://www.blackburncenter.org/
🏠 Women's Center & Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh: https://wcspittsburgh.org/
🏠 PA Coalition Against Domestic Violence: https://www.pcadv.org/find-help/
🎯 KEY TAKEAWAYS
• Intimate partner violence (IPV) is not just physical. Most intimate partner violence looks like power and control — financial abuse, isolation, sexual coercion, threats to pets — long before it looks like a black eye.
• Strong people end up in these relationships. Vulnerability, family history, and normalized dynamics are risk factors. It has nothing to do with weakness.
• The cycle is by design. Abusive relationships almost always start passionate and exciting. The love bombing that follows the bad moments is what keeps people in.
• Isolation is the name of the game. Abusers use slow, deliberate tactics to cut victims off from their support systems — and well-meaning loved ones can accidentally add to it.
• Strangulation is a red flag, not an orange one. A single non-fatal strangulation attempt increases the risk of being murdered by that partner by 750%. It is always urgent.
• Safety planning is a spectrum. From checking your phone for tracking apps to knowing which room to go to if things turn physical — safety planning looks different at every stage.
• Resources exist and most of them are free. Every county has a victim service provider. Every state has VCAP funding. You do not have to figure this out alone.
TOPICS
MENTAL HEALTH
HEALING & SELF TRUST
RELATIONSHIPS
